Sometimes we may ask ourselves questions like “are conflicts in marriage normal? Are conflicts an indication that we don’t love our spouses? Is it better to say few words than to speak many? Why when we speak a lot of words do we find ourselves in conflict with others?”
Conflicts with our spouses with no question can mess up our day. Conflicts can happen if we fail to make our spirit in alignment with others. If you are not one in the spirit by praying, there will be a lot of conflicts during the day.
But then that is not the end the world. We can always solve our conflicts if we are willing to deal with them with the right attitude. It is never late to be humble and ask for an apologies that could possibly fix what went wrong.
You need to see for yourself if that works. Ask different questions and explain what you are really trying to speak. Always don’t try to make a point on your own. We should make ultimate decision praying together to God. You don’t have to explain every little detail of the process of your decision. That will make you free from a lot of problems.
In these last days, we have to walk with wisdom. Wisdom is not wickedness. Wisdom is the truth and the way of life. Therefore let us not hurt our relationship by taking the wrong decision. Always consult with the Spirit of Jesus, the wisdom of God, Holy Spirit and he will guide you the path to peace and rest.
For instance, your wife/husband may see something unfinished that you have started and s/he may not like it at all. And s/he might pressure you to stop it. But it is your beautiful gift to him/her and you don’t want to stop. So in that case you kind of hide what is for him/her just for the time being.
A good example is when Abraham was asked to submit his son as a sacrifice to God he didn’t consult with flesh and blood. He decided to do it and that was considered as righteousness.
When God asks you to do something important, do not consult with flesh and blood. You have to do it immediately and you and your family will be blessed for generations. On the other hand, when you speak every little bit of actions you take, there might be a disagreement between you and your spouse and latter you will not able to complete the task.
It is much better to take individual responsibilities and come to a common decision when it is time and very important to do so. This is not to throw away the importance of communication. Remember talking always has its pros and cons.
The advantage is it actually put your spouse in the place where he/she can involve in every decision making of your marriage. Hence, it is much better to fight in the right way about an issue before it is too late to act. But then the disadvantage is you cannot possible agree on every aspect of the matter and disagreement leads to fight and fight will lead to misunderstanding of words which turn to quarrel and then you will make a lot of mess as they say, "speak when you angry and you will speak the best speech you will ever regret."
Respect the covenant that you are in. Help and be there for those who desperately seek your help. Consider yourself in their shoes and walk with humbleness of the heart. Do not assume yourself more than who you are. You have been privileged and given every opportunity to help. Don’t forget that. Even if some times people might want to take advantage of the things you have. They are not feeling well that you are what you are.
They don’t even want to believe that God gives grace for the humble. But your main calling and the motive should be to help and to reach out to others. When you are lifted by grace, there is a good possibility of somebody getting jealous. Jealousy is a big problem when someone wants what is in you not in a positive way.
You may envy someone in a positive way and want to change. But you may want to put him down and you want to rise. That is not a good thing. God has mentioned that we shouldn’t neglect others when they desperately need our help.
Love and help your enemy when they are in great distress. God will answer you when you are in distress.
The life of David and other men and women of God are the best example to teach us about loving our enemy. EventThe Lord specifically instructs us to do so. That is all for our benefits. For one thing, we don’t know nothing about judgment compered to God. Secondly, you will never go wrong with love. Love eats up every work of evilness in our lives.
We need to also love, give priority and help our family first. Your first priority is your own family and then you parents. Your own families you can’t get rid of them from your life since they are your own flesh and blood. When others mock you and put you down, when only what they want is your failure, your family will always be there for you to get your back. When all you have worked for all your life be gone, they will be there with you if you treat them with love and respect as you suppose to.
Bad people attack you envying what God has done in your life. They want to reach there and don’t know what is going on behind. Only the mercy of God and the love of God can lift one up. Your friends can turn in to your worst night mare. All this because what God has done in your life.
In conclusion, conflicts should not be taken as the worst thing that could happen in our lives. They are an indication that there is some important and urgent matter in our relationships we need to deal with love and go on with our lives. After all they could be an indication of passion, love and affection for one another but expressed in a wrong way. If words have so much power to put the light in our marriage off , then they do have the same power to put the light back on with words spoken with love, humility and patience.
There won’t be enough space on this page to exhaustively mention the importance of humility instead of pride to solve conflicts but here are some related scriptures from the Bible:
Romans 12:3 - For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
Matthew 23:12 - Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
Proverbs 15:33 -The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.
Proverbs 11:2 - When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.
Psalm 25:9 - He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.
1 Peter 5:6 - Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,
Galatians 1:16 -But when God, who had set me apart even from my mother's womb and called me through His grace, was pleased 16to reveal His Son in me so that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with flesh and blood, 17nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went away to Arabia, and returned once more to Damascus.