Let’s say you have some unpleasant argument with your spouse and you feel discomfort in side and you want to go back to your previous state. Words cannot be unspoken. But feelings can be healed.
Make sure in any kind of arguments, you are not saying what you don’t want to say that makes you regret. If you did not offend your spouse during your conversation, there will be a good chance that you will have emotional healing from the words of others.
Rather than on focusing on the direct words that comes from your spouse, focus on the overall feelings and motive of your spouse. Don’t allow to develop a resentment and tendency to memorize the bad things that is spoken from your spouse.
If things got worse and your spouse try to say something bad to you, instead of saying the same bad things in revenge, try saying a kind and pleasant word. This will potentially help your spouse in becoming less aggressive and you may win them with love.
The key here is that you should have self-control and avoid any bad words come out of your mouth. The other key is to let things cool off by walking away from the situation. Jesus used to do that when he face angry crowd that wanted to stone him to death. He will just walk away from them and they couldn’t do anything. May the Lord give us the grace to just walk away from an angry spouse when things look bad!
God gives grace for the humble. He will strength you to do what he wants you to do.
Many problem arises when we also contribute in making the bad situation worse by continually fight against our spouse. If we do that, we not only hurt ourselves but also make them say bad things to us.
When a person is angry we never know what kind of spirit they are in to.
So to avoid what the devil can do to us, we should always avoid conflicts as much as possible
If they come to us with no way to retreat, then we should deal with them according to the wisdom that we learn from God that is to patiently and lovingly with all self-control we got and not anger and resentment and retaliation.
This doesn’t mean we have to take insult and just accept what others say about us. We have to make our points clear and understandable with boldness but not in argument full of hate. We can get ourselves heard by taking a more thoughtful way. Especially if we can raise them when our spouse is cool of and he/she is no in a defensive mood.
If can raise our points with love and courage, we will be heard. If we speak when we are angry, we will say something’s completely out of context and out of boundary. When we come to argue with our spouse first we have to know what we want.
We have to make very clear what we expect from the situation. We have to stand firm behind what we wanted out of the relationship. We need to focus on discussing on things that could make our relationship bitter and wither in the long run. We need to discuss them and find a way to solve them as quick as possible.
The other good points that should be raised is that there may not be immediate emotionally healing when we come to argue with our spouse. The reason is that we may not always be heard and we may not reach in to a good conclusion and possibly we may not come to a point in which we are both winners.
But sometimes what will happen is that they will not accept our points and they may even reject them.
This should not put you off and drop everything all of the sudden.
We need to pray before beginning any kind of argument and if things don’t go the way we wanted, we need to leave the rest to the Lord and he will take care of the rest. At least our attitude to resolve the conflict with a good start is half way to solve the problem. The Lord will take care of the rest and as human beings we tend to understand things latter in time.
In conclusion whether we solve our conflicts in a matter of few discussion or we don’t reach to a common ground, we should always continue to love and care as the Lord commands. He will extend his favor and love to us and he will heal every broken heart in Jesus Name.