Marriage, between one man and one woman, should not be underestimated nor should it be taken for granted. The idea of two people coming to share life together is holy and should be taken as one of the most wonderful gift God has given to human beings. Any two ordinary people may not be able to live up to all the expectations by themselves but when the Spirit of God comes in between, they can.
Two bodies can be joined together. Two or more people can join in a common purpose using their mind to work on a common problem and their physical body and physical mind to solve it. But to join two souls together is what God can only do. That is in body, spirit and mind. I believe that every human being represents all these three basic components. We all have a physical body which latter takes its divine form. We also carry the spirit that we are made of. We have the mind that is able to generate intellectual ideas that will make us thoughtful.
When a man and woman join in a marital relationship, they are bind by true love and spirit. Selfishness is not in their midst. Anger is far from their dwelling. Hope and faith are the words that come out of their mouth all the time. These people are going to change through time. It is not possible to remain the same all the time. There are many factors that can cause a person to change. But we will understand why and adapt ourselves to those circumstances.
What is the real motive behind marriage? If there is one thing that you really need and you are there only for it, then when you get it, you will definitely leave. So don't make relationships based on needs but based on love. Do not make a relationship based on what you feel today.
Feelings come and go but love stays with you all the time. So what is love that will help us make a true relationship? This doesn't mean that there won't be anything that one needs from his lover. It is said that sex is the main reason that drives men and women into marriage.
If sex is all we want from our marriage, then if we don't get it as we dreamed of it, we will find it very difficult to live together with our marriage partner. For this reason, many wanted to test or to reach that level of ecstasy to actually measure how much love they can receive from their lover.
You can't measure someone's love for you in one instance. Love is something that will only reveal itself in its own exceedingly beautiful time. You can't force love to reveal itself. You might not live to see how much somebody loves you until it is the real time for you to know. So it is absolutely wrong to make all your lifetime decision in one single moment of your experience that you shared with.
This being said, sex or money or beauty or character by themselves should not drive you into marriage. Sex is just only a temporary passion. Beauty will soon disappear. The character will be degraded and could lose its beauty through time. Money can come and go. But if you build your relationship based on true love, then whether the wind tests it, or storm tries to blow it away, but it will remain strong.
True love is not jealous, doesn't envy, is kind, thoughtful, merciful, forgiving, passionate, loving, caring, protecting, serving with broken heart, always repent, cherish, peaceful, joyful, kind, good, forgiving, compassionate, decent, humble, pure, graceful, praiseful, truthful, patient, servant, thankful, righteous, helpful, caring, gentle, disciplined, merciful, honest, respectful, full of integrity, sincere, full of empathy, self-sacrificing, gen
/>rous, cheerful, contend, prosperous, wise, knowledgeable, passionate, gifted, always interceding, faithful, Holy and full of hope, obedient and self-sacrificing.
Nowhere near love there is lust or the love of money but surely there is prosperity and generosity. Nowhere near love there is sexual impurity but sharing, caring and serving one another.
Sometimes, it looks like we are troubled in our relationship. We feel uncomfortable when some things are not going in the way we are thinking. Our wife or husband may not want to go the way we wanted. We do have a different perspective on different things.
However, this should work for us to have a very strong relationship and not the reason we should argue all the time. If one can see in a way that other cannot see, then the relationship will work in a better way than before. The Bible says that two is better than one. There is a better return when two or more people are engaged to accomplish a common purpose.
There is one major issue that could sour our relationship instead of building it. Always if there is a thing at all that is causing a great deal of problems into our lives, we wouldn't be as happy as we should until we found the cure for that. And fortunately, there is the balancing force for all of the negative force we experience in our lives.
For example, if we take one negative force that could probably cause a malfunction by causing harm and damage to our relationship which is jealousy. Jealousy is a very pessimistic way of life. Jealousy could cause harm to our relationship if it is not treated very early.
Jealousy could be a sign of love. The fact that somebody is jealous in a relationship doesn't mean he/she is wrong or right. The time it gets wrong is when one does something destructive in it. If jealousy can lead to anger and revenge, then that is very dangerous. Otherwise, if it allows you to realize how much love you have for your wife/husband that is not harmful at all.
When one gets jealous it might be a sign that one has a very low level of self-confidence that one is not good enough for the relationship. For this reason, we need to build self-confidence by disallowing the force of jealousy not to work in our lives.
The reason we get jealous is most of the time misunderstanding the current situation and go beyond our wild imaginations. If one takes what is going on in the wrong way then there is a high tendency that he/she blame his/her husband doing the wrong thing for the wrong reason.
But building confidence or allowing a high form of communication/understanding may not always be a solution to the problems jealousy brings in to our relationships. The antidote to disfigure jealousy; the equal amount of force that will balance this negative force, that we should introduce into our lives and practice everyday is TRUST.
Let me start this by saying that not all people that you say you love them or they love you can be trusted. We are here on earth falling from God's grace because of our sins. The first sin that was committed in heaven was mistrust. Adam and Eve were not live up to the expectation and trust that God had given them.
Trust is the key to our relationship with God and with our family. Jealousy is fear that your precious gift that you place in somebody's heart could be stolen or simply given away. So you need to see if somebody is faithful enough before you actually do that.
The problem is you can't see clearly whether somebod
ithful or not. It is like reading their thoughts in their mind and understanding their ways in their heart. And even if you do, what is your certificate of guarantee that it won't change for the next years to come.
The word of God teaches us that nobody can see the heart of man. Sometimes even ourselves can't really understand the motive why we are trying to accomplish some things in life. But the Spirit of God helps us understand and answer all these different questions.
The spirit of man can actually dive into our mind, soul and spirit and tells us the deep secrets we have. The Spirit of God can reveal the nature of ideas, concepts, and thoughts and desire one has.
"The best way to keep a secret is to never have it "
The best way not to get betrayed is to never put your trust on it
The best way not to get hurt is not to love at all "
These are all the way of the world and they are partially true. Or I may say these are completely true. But what good does it make to live a life and never to love, to make a relationship and never to trust and to love and trust but never to share a secret?
That is the most nonsentimental way of life. What good does it make to be in a relationship and not trust it? I believe we all should ask ourselves that if it is worthy to love and get hurt a little bit than not to love at all and live our lives in complete solitude.
One other cause of discomfort in our relationship is disregard, communication gap, and disrespect. If a man feels that he is disrespected by his wife, he may not feel comfortable to open up for communication in the first place.
If a wife feels that she is treated with less care that she ought to, she may think that she is considered disregarded and her man is not able to serve her to the level of her expectation. As a result, she feels disrespect to her husband and she may not want also to open up to her husband and gives him the respect and love he needs.
So husbands need to be more carrying and supportive. They need to watch what is going on around their wives and respond in time. That by itself is a big thing for the wife to develop trust on him and before she knows it she will have the respect.
May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us in Jesus Name, to guide us to develop trust with our spouse and stay away from jealousy so that we can enjoy our marriage. AMEN!