I believe these pieces of writings will be a lesson to me and for those who will get the chance to read my story. I will incorporate God’s word in it. I hope it will be a book of wisdom not critics.
I was born in a small town in Ethiopia, Africa. I was raised by two hard working parents who want nothing but the best for their children. I was the first born and I have two sisters and one brother in my family.
My parents got divorced when I was 5 years old. At first I got the chance to live with my father, but then later I moved to my mom and my little sister when my father married his second wife after 5 years my parents got divorced.
When I was a boy, I remember my dedication to the things of God and I was completely obsessed with God’s existence and my purpose in general. I also remember that I prepared myself to the idea of good things, and good things used to come to me. Then they say I had been severely attacked by the devil. But God was able to make me free not so long I had been attacked.
I have received my Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savioiur at the age of fourteen. The problem came when I grew up. My attachment and close relationship with Christ and me loving Christ was offensive with my unbeliver parent. I would say to you never interfere with the religion decision of your child. Even though critical life issues and decisions have to be seriously advised, the decisions of your child must be respected.
Respect is very crucial, even with friends. But the family has to respect and encourage his son/daughter for his/her decisions. Here is my thing…. I didn’t want no body, especially my family to be disappointed because of me. Silly me! I never wanted to interfere with another’s person’s decisions, but I compromised with my own. I thought this is not a healthy relationship, but I didn’t know what else to do at that time.
The first time I couldn’t go to church because of family disagreement, I accept it with difficulties. I then became like some of my friends in the village where nothing was accomplished all day. But devil used this opportunity to destroy my life. Believe it or not this was the time I hated myself and tried multiple times to destroy it. This happend when I was a teenage boy.
When the only means of my happiness and my life choice was restricted by family, I didn’t know what else I should do with my life than to destroy it. But God was with me all the time. He nether abundened me in the hand of the devil. Nor he left me to die in the depth of the river. He remembered me and snatched me from the brink of unexpected death. I then came to my heart a little bit and tried to realize that life is more important than everything. Soon, I started to stay in the house and read the Bible.
But there were some obstacles with that too. I was not allowed to spend more time with the Bible. My only argument was how it was not obvious to my family that a man without God is dead, especially a boy whose soul were like a blinking candle about to get darkened by the storms of life.
By the time I should return to campus, I was not as vigilant to God’s things as before. My motive was to score more grades to join department of medicine. It turns out to be I am a computer science guy.
I used to think one day I will be rich and when I become rich, I will give the money to those who need it in the beginning and I will come to my Lord. But this idea makes many to disappear from the house of God for good.
I then realized that the chance to come back after a long term commitment with sin is so little. The money, fame, artificial joy, and everything are so powerful to snatch them and swallow them for good. I, on the other hand was still struggling in the belly of the wicked. I prayed day and night to my God so that one day the wicked might spit me out.
I tried to be as uncomfortable to the devil as much as possible.
I wanted the hell to shake up a little bit to throw me out of there. I thought to myself, “I don’t belong here.” I wanted to be with my father. While I was in search of more education and more money, I found myself daily far from God. I got into the wickedness of this world more and more.
I was also dumb and stupid that even I didn’t know how to keep myself from danger. In search of love and happiness, I found myself soon enough in danger. Because of that I was left with a new kind of curse which made me tormented for so many years.
Praise the Lord! I was delivered from it after so many years, but then there was a substitute. By the time I was about to finish my undergrad studies, I was so happy but again I found myself lost in the wilderness. I couldn’t find myself. My whole identity was lost. It was all about forgiving myself and those who were closest to me. I didn’t know how to do that? I thought my life was already wasted and destroyed. I was thinking I never asked my God for earthly benefits. But God for so long forgets my souls cry on family and love.
I was looking for the real love and family. I was looking why I am here. My question was while devil used every opportunity to destroy my life, God seemed to remain in silence. I had prayed every day this prayer, “Have I ever ask you for anything, father? But you ignored my years of prayer. You know I am zealous about your house. I am delighted when your name is spoken among your congregation.”
Praise God. This is all behind me now. God has miraculously saved me from all of my enemies in the Spirit. I am now completely healed by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ. I don’t hate no one now since God has filled me with ever flowing Love and compassion for others. That is the Holy Spirit!
I tried to address the healing process in another blog (Grace-vs-Self-righteousness). Please read this blog if you are interested.