There is the reason why we are not to make love with our spouse before marriage. The idea is we need to be able to use the same energy and passion to navigate through each other before coming to that point where we really want to share our body to our marriage partner.
It is to be able to understand the mind and soul and spirit of one another even before to be one in flesh. So we need to be one in words and understanding the mind of one another.
We need to come to common decisions easily. We need to learn to submit us for another for the sake of the relationship we are about to make. We need to see one wants as ours. We need to reach one for another. We need to start carry loads one for another. While we start to do that we will develop love and trust.
But if we start building relationship from the flesh perspective, then everything will fall apart because we are trying to start building a house from the roof. We have to have a strong foundation of love and relationship to be able to form a long time relationship.
That is by coming to understand why God wants us not to be slaves of our emotions through sexual relationship before marriage. Everybody knows that we have to wait some time to do that. But how long? Three weeks? Three month? Or three years?
The answer will be on the fact that how deep the relationship goes. And if it does, how committed are we to establish a marital relationships. If we need space and freedom before establishing that then lets take all the time we need. Marriage is not something we put aside once we are in to it. It requires most of our time and heart and our energy.
The other reason we should not be in to sexual relationship before marriage is that: Once we done that we are highly susceptible for causing anger on one another. This is because sex is what makes us one with our wife or husband according to the word of God.
That means it will make us highly vulnerable to disappointments and anger by our own partner if one don't know what makes our partner offended. That will in turn disrupt the relationship and hence there is a possibility of destroying it with out knowledge.
So what is the rule of thumb, the piece of advice, a little bit of wisdom here? Fear the Lord and honor him by not doing sex before marriage. For those who have made it already and still not married, it is a wise decision to stop doing it and wait until getting married.
If one insists and urges to have it, then it is good to discuss this with him or her in detail. One may not see the danger of it so one has to explain deeply in a more sensible manner.
It is not possible to be able to understand completely who our friend really is in time. It is always a challenge. Especially for those who want to get married, it is an important issue. The only way one will understand and learn about another is through the same spirit that is in that person which is in us also.
They say if we are not some how in to it how does one knows if we really love them or not. Ok find your own way of showing your love but don't even think about sex as a way to express love.
God knows and judges what we even think in our heart. Our impure thoughts and filthy dreams are one of the things we want to get rid of before we will catch up in the terrible sin of sexual immorality. It is amazing how God put it simply in his words that no sexual immoral person will get in in his kingdom.
May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us to teach us not to follow our temporary feelings for they are deceptive and help us establish a permanent faithful relationship our wife/husband and with God, in Jesus Name, AMEN!