Life especially marriage can be a very complicated thing if we don’t know how to manage it easily. It is complicated because we human beings are a very complex creatures that we don’t even understand ourselves deeply to its limit and we are the constituents of marriage as the Holy Spirit the head of the marriage.
We must be very clear what we need and communicate effectively with each other. Whether to love or not to love, to care or not to care for each other is all the choice we face every day. But sometimes the responsibility of marriage grows too much that we may not be able control it anymore. As we know, every day there are more responsibilities than before. The good news is we have our best friend God gave us to help us with the burden of life.
The bad news is life can be sometimes a lot of responsibility which builds up a lot of stress and that could affect how we should behave and interact with each other. You see when we become overloaded with lot and lots of things leaving us with no time for our personal relationship with Christ, this will eventually hurt both our relationship with God, Spouse and our family.
The key to manage this from personal experience is to mange stress to the level it can not affect us and change us in a way that is abnormal behavior. Men and women tend to be mean, unkind, and unloving/unlovable and develop abnormal behavior when they are taken to the limit where they no more control themselves.
The Bible teaches us about the weakness of our flesh and without the Spirit of the Lord freshly working in our lives every day; we could turn ourselves in to a disaster.
Romans 8:8
Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
Galatians 5:16
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Galatians 5:19-21
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Romans 8:6
For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
Romans 8:5
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.
Colossians 3:1-25
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
Ephesians 6:12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
The Bible teaches us that no one can dominate and excel by his own strength and wisdom. No onecan be fulfilled with out intervention of the Holy Spirit. Our problems and
issues inc
uding those problems we face in marriage are way beyond our earthly capacity and power to deal with them.
Anybody can be what he wants to be using his intellectual power and a good training. But sometimes we face problems way beyond our mental capacity and power. If we follow them to the end, they are able to take us to the extremities and bring a huge damage to us.
That is why coming to God without the Lord is not an option. The Lord did not put him as an option with other things. He didn’t say, “I am the way and also there are other ways to the father.” He said, “I am the way the truth and the life. No one can come to the father except through me.”
John 14:6 - Jesus said unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
Yes we have the option to choose what we love most. We have a free chose to make. But we must know that there is no other way other than the Lord that we must be saved. Therefore it is very important to understand the weakness of our flesh and better yet cling to the Lord of our soul, Jesus Christ, whom he gives peace and rest to our soul. He is the solution of all our problems.
So what do you want from your marriage?
If you want peace, rest and abundance of grace, come to the Lord and he will give you all.
Here are top ten most important steps we need to take to do well in our relationships
Have a personal Bible study time: Let Holy Spirit guide and teach you the essence of marriage
Have a personal prayer time: Having personal time with the Holy Spirit to speak with him about every areas of your lives.
Dedicate personal prayer time for you and your family: Let him wash away the burden of sin, guilt, and bitterness. Let him encourage you with the everlasting promises that the Lord has promised us. Let him guide in to prayer for your selves and for others who are passing in the similar situation
Have a Bible study time at least once in a week
Come out of the usual routines and do something fun together at least once in two weeks
Have a special time with each other where you could listen to each other. This is not like other times where we are distracted by children, work and other issues in life. This is not where you discuss your goals and achievements.This is the time you and your spouse spend time to enjoy the moment together by just listening and understanding each other with no judgment but with lots of love.
Dedicate time to worship the Lord together every Sunday
Spend time together to do common in-house or out of the house activities
Give each other space. Sometimes we human beings need a time of moment of peace, silence and rest with just ourselves and the Lord’s Spirit with us. This doesn’t mean we have to spend a long time having fun with other people outside of the house leaving our family behind. It means we have to take a moment to relax, become strengthened and come back to our family after we feel the joy and relaxation of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we make a lot of mess facing the wrong person we are angry in side. We need time to cool it off before actually disturbing your family without common sense. The best place to do that is not the bar. It is any where there is the presence of the Holy Spirit and we just let it out, cry out, shout and come back to our spouse.
Take time to solve together what matters most with a sense of urgency
This is the time we discuss every issue about our marriage. If there are conflicts, we need to talk to each other and find a common ground in which we all agree to continue to work together in love.
From the above suggestions, we can see that re
ationship is all
bout managing time and having a good personal time together with the lord. Happy and enjoyable life is not necessarily out of the abundance of money.
I believe the problem with marriage is most of the time we don’t abide in these fundamentals principles of marriage. The pillar of marriage is Holy Spirit. We live, evolve and grow in to the likeness of Christ with him.
The house cannot stand without the existence of him. Don’t make decision on you two alone. Consult with the Holy Spirit and make him guide and lead you into every situation in life you are facing as a family. Let him interfere as he wishes. Let him do the hard part for you - the decision part.
May the Lord give us the grace to live in the right direction and become fruitful in the areas of our marriage, family and the purpose the Lord has given us to accomplish.