Unless the LORD Builds the HouseUnless the LORD builds the house,those who build it labor in vain.Unless the LORD watches over the city,the watchman stays awake in vain.It is in vain that you rise up earlyand go late to rest,eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.Like arrows in the hand of a warriorare the children[a] of one's youth.Blessed is the manwho fills his quiver with them!He shall not be put to shamewhen he speaks with his enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127)
Children are indeed a blessing from God. No one can truly appreciate the value of family and children if we don’t understand that they indeed come from the Lord to make our lives happy. We all agree that they install in us purpose and the desire to live for a purpose. Once we have children our lives will never be the same. It is forever changed for the good.
They are exemplified as powerful arrows in you hands to destroy the enemy. If properly trained and cultivated to be respectful, they are powerful to revenge the works of the devil.On the other hand, if not properly trained, they can also be misused. That is why the Bible also says,
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Imagine all the failures and painful moments and sorrows of your life that you wish it never happened to you or you could have done it in a different way to avoid the bad consequences, but you cannot.
Now you can revenge that by training a child in godly manner. Their success and accomplishment are counter attack on the evil who attacked viscously.Imagine your children preaching the good news to the unsaved world and bring glory to God.
Imagine them feeding the poor, helping the helpless, encouraging the depressed filled with the Spirit of God and just live life compassionately.All these bring multiple fold glory and honor to God and a great damage to the kingdom of the darkness.
That what the Bible teaches us about our children. They are a ball of fire where you can revenge your enemies.God has placed a precious and powerful thing in your hands. Use it wisely for the glory and kingdom of God.
How do you raise your children to be a good citizen of heaven?
Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity.Titus 2:7
You teach your children the percepts and rules of the kingdom.You showed them how compassionate and loving is the Lord.But more than that you become the model of good works.You shape their behavior by becoming one of the virtues you want to teach them.
Do you want them to be patient and kind to each other? Then you should become patient and kind when they are disobedient.You positively influence them by your attention to details and by giving themundivided attentionto their day to day activities. Nothing should be left unaddressed.
You see a problem, you address it immediately in calm spirit. Do not over heat and argue with a child as they might not follow you in the way you wanted.Argument never solves anything in household.You also need to know that you cannot solve the issues by yourself.
As the Bible indicates, unless the Lord interferes, your hard work is for nothing.Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
You must make yourself in 100% submission to the Holy Spirit to allow him to work on your child.At
he end of the day, the only Hope you have is that may Holy Spirit completely take over the situation and make your child be a responsible and God-Fearing person s/he needs to be in every circumstance.
Is physical punishment necessary to discipline a child?
In my opinion you cannot teach your children anything by introducing them in to violent nature of discipline. I also believe that the Bible never intends to tell us to do that. There is always the risk of causing physical harm to a child up to the point the child could severely hurt.
There is no way you can always physically punish a child and not one day end up putting him in great physical harm. It is like drinking every day and you say you are sober. We know that never works.
My argument is even if the bible gives us the permission to physically punish our children, we need to know that it doesn’t mean we end up hurting our children. Aggression towards anyone is sin including your children. It also destroys the parent-child relationship one has with his children.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
We are told to discipline but not even to make them angry. Physical harm and aggression towards your children do make them angry. With a broken heart and wounded body, they will develop fear and hate towards other and mostly their parents. You cannot make a point my hurting someone, and your child knows that well. As a child I was beaten up so bad by my parents that I developed so much hate and bitterness towards others.
My parents didn’t know better and they thought they were doing a great favor to me. Little do they know that they were making me to be one of the most hostile and violent kid in the vicinity of my home - Very aggressive and very demanding and very revengeful since that is what I learn from them at that time – revenge instead of discipline.
Discipline is never revenge. Revenge is judgment on the wicked. Not a loving correction to your loved one.
What is Discipline?
Discipline is a formal method of correcting and instructing a child to follow the path of righteousness.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think on these things. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7)
Discipline is to encourage your child when they do the above and reproach when they fell out from these.
Discipline is when you come face to face with your child who is confused and agitated by life and you hug him and kiss him and tell him everything is going to be all right one day. It is when you show him the glamor of hope and astonishing future that God has installed for each one of us.
Discipline is to help your child discern the right from wrong and pick the right one and help me develop these skills while you raise him up.
What is NOT Discipline?
Discipline is not to demoralize and belittle your child just to make a point.It is not inflicting pain in to your child for what so ever reason you have.Is not to segregate and left out a child hence making him feel outcasted and abandoned by the family.
Discipline is not depriving the necessary needs of a child like food, bath, clothing, sleep, comfort of a child in order to teach a lesson. Discipline is not leaving your child in a dangerous situation whether out of despair or out of for the sake of teaching him
lesson.
By doing discipline the right way, we may save our child from destruction or even death and
ake them fruitful and productive members of the kingdom of God. There is no failure in the kingdom of God. We all are part of the body of Christ with specific purpose.
If we don’t practice discipline (or do it the wrong way), we will see one or more of the following consequences
The relationship with your child will be destroyed
You will lose you child either due to self-harm and the harm you may cause by accident
They may experience temporary or permanent disability
They will develop hate and bitterness towards others and themselves
They will be aggressive and display anti-social behavior.
They will do less academically. How can they do well in school when their freedom to be a child is taken away by an abusive parent?
The will fight with depression and self-esteem issues later in their life.
They no longer feel safe and protected even in the place where they think is the safest place on earth.
Destroys self-confidence
Develop an erratic temper that can ruin their life forever and put them in great danger
Children who are severely abused when they were a child may commit suicide when they are teens
Neven feel loved so they live their life in search of one in which they may end up in the wrong hands. (This can be being in abusive relationship or runaway kids)
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Mental health issue
Lose passion and enthusiasm for life – the basic components of life
In conclusion, what ever the situation is and how bad it looks like, never give up on your child. There is still time to positively influence your child and teach him the right from wrong.
If you are an aggressive parent who wants everything to be done exactly by the book and never leave a margin of error, then you need to remind yourself how rebellious and stubborn you were to the Lord when you were a little. And how God has simply covered you with grace and love that is beyond comprehension.
Maybe you need to treat you child with the same compassion that the Lord has showed you. Forgive their sins and love them anyways. Cover them with the garment of grace and help them understand that treating others with care and love is one of the most important things you can do in your life.